Self diagnosis is said to be dangerous.
So for weeks when my fingertips would go white and numb in random
combinations and at odd times, I resisted the urge to visit WebMD or
consult the book of symptoms sitting on the bookshelf. I would simply
shake my hands in the hope of getting the blood flowing through them
properly again and likewise shake off the concern that there was
something seriously wrong. I prayed that the annoying habit would
simply go away, and vowed to consult a doctor if it didn't.
But one morning as I felt the tell-tale
tingling start up and watched as the tip of my middle finger turn
white, I found I was more curious than worried, and took to the
internet to find some answers. I came away with two problems
solved, instead of just the one.
I discovered that Raynaud's Phenomenon
is a condition in which the digits of the hand and or feet experience
a restriction of blood flow due to blood vessel spasms, usually as a
result of exposure to heat or cold. A progression of skin color from
white to blue to red is characteristic as the blood flow is first
restricted, the tissue experiences oxygen deprivation, and then the
spasm ends and normal blood flow is once again restored. The most
basic treatment is simply to protect the affected area from exposure
to the temperatures that triggered it.
I was fascinated by the information,
especially as it applied to a similar problem I was having in my
spiritual life. I'd likewise experienced a restriction in Blood flow
of sorts, especially to my fingertips as they hovered above the
computer keyboard, waiting for words to type. No inspiration moved
them to connect letters into words that expressed faith, hope, or
encouragement of any kind. Pages that once easily filled up with
print were left white and waiting for direction from a brain that
felt numb and devoid of spiritual direction of any kind. Apparently
there was some restriction in my spirit, the evidence of which was my
increasingly blue emotional state.
Restrictions in our ability to see and
hear from God on a regular basis can have many causes. Sin can
sometimes separate us from our Source as we pull back from God out of
guilt and a reluctance to submit to His authority. Sometimes God goes
quiet to cause us to pursue Him more passionately, as once having had
a taste of His Presence in our lives, we become hungry for more.
And sometimes He is simply waiting for us to complete His last
direction before He's ready to move on with the next step of our
spiritual journey.
The latter was the case in my
situation. God had been speaking to me about returning to an area of
ministry that once filled my thought life as well as my days, but in
recent years had been moved to the sidelines as I pursued other
spiritual interests. He wanted me to become active in that initial
activity once more, and gave me guidelines as to how to go about it.
I accepted His direction and dabbled in doing as He asked, but
clearly didn't jump into it as wholeheartedly as He desired.
He got my attention by seemingly
withholding His; He simply went silent. And suddenly, so did my
keyboard. I had nothing to say if I couldn't hear His voice. I tried
to shake things loose on my own, and when those attempts were
unsuccessful, I got serious in looking to Him for answers. He simply
told me there was something He had asked of me that had been left
undone.
It didn't take me long to figure out
what it was. I took up His request with new resolve, and amazingly,
experienced relief on two levels. Just as my fingertips experienced a
“flushing” of blood once the blood vessel spasms ceased, so my
spirit experienced the same, and ideas and words rushed to fill the
void. God's message to me was clear: Remove the restriction and the
Blood flows freely once more.
I've likewise learned from my web
search that I can prevent future occurrences of Raynaud's Phenomena
by protecting vulnerable areas from exposure to the cold. And surely
I can do the same with my spirit. I cover my hands now when filling
my birdfeeders on chilly mornings, perhaps for more reasons than one.
I need the reminder to handle God's directions with kid gloves,
making sure I follow them explicitly and finish them completely, so
that His Blood can flow to the farthest reaches of my soul.
“And Samuel said,
'Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as
in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than
sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.'”
(1 Samuel 15:22 ESV)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Elaine. I think other things that can stop the spiritual flow are busyness and striving to do things in our own strength.
ReplyDeleteMy mom has Raynaud's and it looks like I'm developing it as well (tends to be hereditary). We have learned about Thermoflow Gloves and are going to give them a try. They're not cheap, but if they offer some relief, they'll be worth it. http://www.thermoflowrelief.com/thermoflow-gloves.html
You are so right about those other "restrictions"! and I hadn't heard of Thermoflow Gloves! Thanks for the tip!
ReplyDeletepretty nice blog, following :)
ReplyDelete